Wednesday 30 May 2012

Kick Me.


I was thinking about Kickstarter. This isn't a critique just some thoughts spurred off by yesterday when twitter was full of 'oh wow, Amanda Palmer!' and 'this will change everything!'

I'm not sure it will, I'm not even sure it's a good thing*.

I just want to get one thing straight as well, this isn't a criticism of Amanda Palmer, I really like her music and she seems all round cool. But she is an established artist and the partner of Neil Gaiman, it would have been more of a shock if she couldn't raise a million.

There's a thing you see a lot when you write, it's the 'it's a boys club, it's not what you write it's who you know,' thing. I don't, and never have**, thought this is true, I think it's just an excuse used to run away from not being good enough yet.

But...I can see something like Kickstarter making this myth come true.

Let's take me as an example. Let's say I want to self publish (I don't). Here's a minimum of what I need: an editor, a copy editor, a cover artist, a graphic designer and printer. Let's put a conservative figure of £5000 on that. There is no way I would raise that through something like Kickstarter. What I want to do is generally a bit odd, it's not going to attract money just from an excerpt from anyone but a very specific crowd. I'm also not a great social networker and when it comes to it feel very uncomfortable asking people for money. I am, probably, what you would call a niche artist^. I'd be shocked if I got £50.

However, let's say you're doing a pretty standard thriller, or an orphan-fulfils-prophecy fantasy, the sort of things that are churned out and are really popular. That'll probably get Kickstarter funding cos people like what they know. Or maybe you're a whiz at networking and have an awful book? You'll probably get Kickstarter finding because OMG, You wrote a book! .

Most worryingly, for me, is maybe you're an established author with a big publisher. You'll almost definitely get funding. This allows you to leave your publisher, Which means your publisher has less money (Yay, strike down the corporate whores, I hear some shout) and if those big publishers have less money then they're less likely to take risks. Which means I, and authors like myself, the not-quite-there's on the fringes doing the not-quite-commercial are less likely to get books out.

Now I know this is all worst case scenario but I'm not always sure the 'self-publishing revolution' is a good thing. Sometimes I think it will lead to a more homogenised scene. Or maybe I am just grumpy cos today I have to give myself a painful injection.








*Well, it probably is a good thing for some people.
**'Celebrity' authors aside but that's a different thing entirely.
^Artist, hark at me, eh?

Tuesday 29 May 2012

More WIP

I'm reasonably happy with this little bit. I've put it here so I can read it back when I become sure it's all awful. It's still first draft, so this isn't final form but I like the feeling of it, the shape it makes in my head. (Too many re uses of the same word though; wake.)




She had been inbetween, neither here nor there. Not quite awake, or even alive and now she was both; awake and alive once more. Waking here was like the transition from indoors to outdoors, the sudden sensation of the world opening up around her that let her know she was no longer liminal. Though where she was, when or how she'd got here remained a mystery. It was most disconcerting to know she had, effectively, been switched off and for all she knew centuries had passed.

Friday 25 May 2012

The Shepherd

Bit sad about this. I've never found a market for it and it's one of my favourite things. Part of me thinks it may be the best thing I've ever written. It's very short, so putting it here isn't going to dent my earning any (STOP LAUGHING) but I always sort of hoped it would get a decent audience. Ah well. Here is, 'The Shepherd' if you enjoy it please leave a comment or spread it about. I really think it's worth a read as an alternative take on the zombie myth.





The Shepherd.



I – Lift.

I used to hear foxes screaming and dream it was people.

Now I hear people and wish it was foxes.

Only occasionally now, screams drift across the heather carpeted moors and into my hayloft prison, carried here on freakish, warm winds. The first time I heard them had me pacing up and down the barn loft, desperate to do something. 

Hob nailed boots drummed out my impotence on the wooden floor. Pacing doesn't feel safe now.

This old building creaks like a ship under sail.

I only have one shotgun cartridge.

My world is green and purple, brown and white and red.

Yan, Tam and Tethera rule here.







II - Fetch.

Yan is eight. Purebreed border collie and the best sheepdog I ever had. Tam is ten, Yan’s mother and always the calmest of the three. Tethera is one and a half, only just out of puppyhood. He’s rotting away the fastest. I don’t know why.

Tam sits well back, ready to return any of the flock that try to make a break. Tethera runs tireless circles around the herd, his legs trailing strips of filthy skin and fur.

Yan drives them forward. He sits, staring up at me from empty eyesockets, for hours on end. Then he hunkers down his forequarters, raises his tailless rump into the air and runs forward, frightening the flock. Pushing them against the barn.

It moans under the stress of so many bodies.

Sour rot and the stink of sheep fills the air. The dogs don’t kill members of the flock but they won’t let them eat or rest either. A ewe burst from the pressure of a thousand of its fellows this morning. Spraying red over the dirty, white, bawling mass around it.

They never bark, the dogs.

I’m so hungry. 

I used to love lamb.



III Drive.

My legs wont work.

My shotgun miss-fired, leaving a nasty burn and a huge bruise under my chin. It did something to my neck and in last night’s rain something went. Something structural. The whole barn heeled over by about forty five degrees. Cold water poured in through the roof.

The dogs can almost jump into the hayloft. Every so often Tethera makes an attempt to get in and I have to fend scuttering claws away from the hatch in the floor with my shotgun. The weapon’s useless for anything else. So am I.

Tam sits patiently at the edge of the flock. Her tongue lolls from her mouth, lifeless and dead without her animating pant.

The pressure of the flock forces, rhythmic, groaning breaths from the old building’s timbers: a splinter, long as my arm, vibrates at stomach height. The only sharp thing I can reach.

I’m not scared of dying.

Just pain.

Yan hunkers down his forequarters, raises his tailless rump into the air and runs forward, frightening the sheep, pushing them against the heeling barn. With a whip-crack report something else breaks and the barn moves another inch.

Sightless eye sockets stare up at me as a sea of sheep wash against the building.

Not long now, Lad.

Not long now.

Best sheepdog I ever had.









Wednesday 23 May 2012

Tyger Tyger...

I am a positive, easy-going and happy person, it's my nature. But today one of, those things happened that could make me lose a little of my faith in human nature.

My boy has a tiger, this is my boy with his tiger on his shoulder, where he keeps him. Tiger's name is Grr.






The rooms a bit of a mess, we are decorating.

But, back to today. Rook and I went shopping, we do this all the time. He sits in the trolley we potter about and have a bit of a laugh. Shopping over we drove home and as I was unpacking the car I suddenly realised, no Grr. Then I had a sudden flashback, Grr was in the trolley, I never took him out the trolley. What kind of Father am I? A bad one. Oh god, Rook'll never sleep again, worse, he'll be heartbroken.

Then Rook looked at me from his car seat and said, 'Grr?'

Cue panic. For non-parents, imagine you'd left everything you own ever and your significant other somewhere that would allow the finder to have them and then come and burn you alive, slowly, for a bit of laugh; you will be halfway towards the sense of panic I felt. So, back in the car (leaving the house door open, I don't mean unlocked, I mean OPEN, whoops) back to the shop. Nearly crash the car parking it. Dive out. Now I am reasonably hopeful here, I realised quickly, it's one of those funny little shops that people don't generally use trolleys in, so the odds are good that Grr will still be there. Also, Grr is, well, he's well loved put it that way, he doesn't smell too good.

So, I ran* across the carpark and as I approached the shop a middle aged couple were coming out. They looked mid-to late fifties or they could have been my age and had a hard life, I'd probably bet on the latter. As I got near I caught the words 'give it to...' and saw a flash of dirty, stripy fur vanish into a carrier bag.

'The Tiger!' I cried, and they both looked a bit taken aback and then at least had the good grace to blush. Or maybe I was a bit imposing and scared them a little. Usually I would say no one would be scared of me but I was six ft one of black clad, long hair and possibly, my tiger-loosing induced mania may have added to the effect. They coughed up Grr. I thanked them profusely, returned to the car and gave Rook Grr.

Rook said, 'Grr.' I could have wept.

But I'm just a bit confused by the mindset of those people. Grr is quite clearly well loved, they were in the shop a while and could have handed him in but instead they chose to take him. I'm not angry about it, just a little bit sad that someone's life should take them in a direction where, when given the chance to do a good thing, they would chose not to**.




*this is a better narrative image, in truth I limped as quickly as possible cos my feet really hurt.
** Though n the positive side, Grr escapes in shops a lot and is usually brought straight back by someone smiling and laughing. I thank them and tell them they should probably bleach their hands now.

Tuesday 22 May 2012

Work Progress.

Left to my own devices I prefer to write something with a definite 'voice'.  I sometimes wonder whether that's an attempt to hide my own idiosyncrasies and worries behind that of the character. Text or story doesn't work for you? Then I can blame it on the mannered narrative. Easy. On the other hand it is just a joy, a lot of the books I love, first person crime of James Lee Burke being the biggest, use that narrative device. the characters own failings blind them to the story it allows for a certain amount of flexibility in the logic of the plot.

I also like to play games to hide layers of meaning, in 'Felt's Theorem' the central premise of the book repeats on different levels and, if it gets published, and if what I want to do is possible, it'll hopefully work on yet another level. I think again, this wheels within wheels thing is a thing for me to hide behind.

So why have I abandoned all this for 'The Worlds Within'?

I have no idea. I am definitely not comfortable with it and I suppose that's part of it. I have another idea in bits which appeals more to me personally but I started Worlds Within and I want to finish it. There is a lot in it I like. Ideas about FTL travel and how it feels, about how aliens may feel about each other and Alien biology in general. It has lost it's focus a little but this is a first draft so that's to be expected. The prose is also (as you'll see from the excerpt in the previous post) workmanlike at best. But I have a central character I like, a twist that I think works well and a way of there being plenty of action without it having a sort of gung-ho 'WAR IS ACE! feel to it which is important to me.

So another twenty thousand words and I will have a finished version then I can go back, re-focus it and pretty up the text, hopefully quite a bit.

Monday 21 May 2012

W.I.P. The World Within.

This is the first part of chapter two from the first draft of my Space Opera type thing, 'The World Within'.  Any comments happily received.



The Scavenger vessel, Birth of Khalsa, out of Gurdwara station, picked her way through the asteroid field on delicate blasts of feathery gas. Khalsa was not a pretty ship but she was not designed to be. She was designed for places like this, where giant stones and debris were an ever present danger. She was a giant metal ovoid, patched and painted in gold and orange, her huge sublight drive units hidden within the thick armour that kept her safe. Her hull could easily withstand the constant small impacts, though her helmsman and first officer, Dev, was carefully keeping her away from some of the more massive stones which would crush the Khalsa like the gaudy egg she resembled.
 
On the Khalsa's bridge her captain, Jasvinder Singh idly toyed with his salt and pepper beard as he stared at the screens before him. This was the last apport he could afford before he returned to Gurdwara station and if he didn't find anything then he would either have to sell the ship or let the crew go and spend another year slicing code to save up enough to fuel and provision another trip. He didn't want to break this crew up, he liked them and in between the normal bickering and arguments of five humans cooped up in a cramped space they had worked hard and got on well. They were all ex-conclave military, like himself, although his engineer, Tariq and his metallurgist and cook, Green, had chosen to have their experiences of fighting wiped. 

He didn't think any less of them for that, he'd often considered it himself.
 
Like the ship the bridge was utilitarian and bulky. Four blocky console stations with cracked and peeling acceleration couches were arranged in a loose ring about the captain's chair. Around that chair Jaz had enough screens to provide him with an overview of the current situation. He banged one of the screens and it let out a burst of static before greying out again. Jaz preferred screens to holo projectors, they gave the operator a sense of privacy that was a welcome gift on such a small ship. And, of course, they were cheap.
 
'Anything?' he said to the air, more to break the tension than from any real expectation of finding something.
 
'Nothing yet,' said Lammel, chewing her brown hair as she studied the screens on the the forward scanning station, at twenty-eight she was the youngest member of the crew an ex sniper with a keen eye and sharp temper. 

Jaz silently thanked her for the hopeful way she spoke. He knew it was unlikely they'd find anything here. He'd only brought Khalsa to this field because there was nowhere else near enough for him to dive back through Fallspace to Gurdwara station with the fuel they had left, Lammel had backed him on his decision. But for exactly the same reason asteroid field Deca-beta-prime-alpa-alpha was unlikely to yield anything valuable as the other members of his crew had been quick to tell him. It had been two hundred years since the last engagement in this area and the asteroid field had long since been mined out of decent salvage. What he was doing was hopeless, he knew it, his crew knew it. Only the ships Ai was cruel enough to say it outright and for that reason he'd turned the bloody thing off.
 
'We're wasting our time here, Jaz, should have saved the fuel.' Almost only the ship's Ai. The rich, lilting voice of his second in command, Devlin o'Brian was something he couldn't turn off. Much as he wished to sometimes. 

He'd been through thick and thin with the man though and although he could be intensely irritating he was always reliable. Whenever Jaz had to take a year off to save up for fuel then Dev did the same, putting his own money into the Khalsa's fuel tanks even though he had no stake in the hull. He'd served under Jaz in the marine's and unlike Jaz had never had the surgical power armour ports removed.
 
They'd been boys when they were signed up, Jaz for hacking a conclave Ai hub looking for pictures or data from lost Earth, Devlin for multiple acts of petty drug fuelled violence. They were an odd couple, the slender, bookish sikh boy and the hulking shaven headed thug. They'd undergone induction by Aiila, one of the the primary contact alien for humans. The Aiila were a species that lived in a gaseous atmosphere and looked like a picture Jaz had once been shown of an old Earth jellyfish. As the Aiila had lectured the new recruits on how this was a 'renewal of life' and all their illegal acts were 'now forgotted' Devlin had piped up; 'Great, I've been forgiven by a used condom floating a bucket.' Jaz had been the only one who laughed. They'd both been stunned by the induction sergeant and spent the night together in a punishment cell.
 
Jaz smiled to himself once more at the memory, twenty years ago, where had it all gone?
 
'Hope springs eternal, Dev,' he pulled down his sleeve to show their regiments motto tattooed on his wrist, 'never give up' see.'
 
'If you believe that shit your less of a man than I gave you credit for, captain,' he added the rank on belatedly and Jaz laughed to himself again.
 
'Captain,' said Lammel, 'I've got an odd reading on scope one.'
 
'You're shitting me,' said Dev.
 
'I'm not, but I don't know what it is. Looks like a couple of those big rocks collided and exposed something,' she pointed at her screen and pressed a button to bring the holoprojector online so everyone could see. 'Whatever it is is half buried in the one on the right.'
 
'Aw, christ,' hissed Devlin, 'getting shit out of an asteroid is a right ballache, lets hope it's not worth the cost of the EVA oxygen. Eh Jaz' There was a moment of silence before he repeated himself, 'Jaz?'
 
Jaz staried at the screen, he wiped his hand down his face and gripped his beard, almost unable to believe what he was seeing. Something in that asteroid was heavy, really heavy, exotic metals heavy. The sort of heavy that could make this entire trip worthwhile. More than worthwhile.
 
'If that's what I think it is, we just paid off all our loans,' he said.
 
'What is it, Boss?' asked Lammel.
 
'A Warshell, I think it's a Warshell.'
 
Devlin let out a low whistle.
 
'Must be from the battle that was fought here, the Conclave don't use AI drones in anywhere but the hottest areas. They'll want it back.'
 
Jaz nodded.
 
'Better than that Dev, they'll pay to get it back.'
 
The big man behind Jaz smiled.'
 
'Oh aye, and pay well I imagine,' the smile dropped from his round face. 'Fuck, this means I've got to EVA don't it?' he said.
 
'Suit up marine,' said Jaz, 'we got a pay day to cash in.'

Friday 18 May 2012

Boy's Room.

A rook, cos that's his name and a dapper fox dragging a skull about. What every kid needs.

A ladybird, one of many insects hiding, a mushroom and an elephant who is unhappy because he believes his trunk is Mundane

Beneath a tree in the land of Jangly,
An aardvark sat (he was not angry)
He was instead morose, so sad
He'd lost the best thing he ever had.
'Oh me, oh my what, terrible luck,
That this aardvark should lose his suck.'



Another Rook and a snail.
All illustrations were by my lovely and talented wife.

Saturday 5 May 2012

Poem Thing

(not) Blogging
Heat curled ampersands
A consummation of words consumed
Flaming death of an indefinite article.