Wednesday 19 December 2012

Ten Minute Thingy #3





Extreme Sanction.



I can still remember the first time, but that's what they say isn't it? 'You never forget the first time.'


It was for Jenny Blydon. I was thirteen. Ricky Sedge was chasing her on his bike and I was in the field outside the house where Mum and Dad lived right up until they died. I liked Jenny, I wanted to protect her and as she came running up to me, Ricky pedalling like mad behind her as if trying to escape the blurry heat haze that surrounded us, I concentrated.

A sudden build of pressure, a release.

I can still hear that certain, peculiar, silence, as if punching Ricky Sledge from his bike with my mind had insulted nature and the world around me had taken in a breath it could not release. The grass, in a circle thirty feet around me was white, quite dead. The gentle sound of the birds falling from the sky and hitting the ground around me in soft puffs of ash. There was Jenny, pale, beautiful and dead. My footsteps left behind me as I fell towards her like those left on the moon by Neil Armstrong. When I touched poor Jenny's face it crumbled.

I wasn't a stupid kid. I knew that I couldn't let this happen again, not without a really good reason.

It came twenty years later in New York. The Megaton it called itself, a nuclear powered battlesuit four stories high, shrugging off the combined might of the American military and I knew, it was like a voice in my head, 'your time has come,' it said. Put the dishes down, grabbed a  tea-towel and walked out through the restaurant. Once I was out I wrapped the towel around my head in true 'who was that masked hero?' fashion.

I crumpled Megaton like an old coke can.

Ten thousand people turned to ash.

Public enemy number one. Grainy satellite pictures of me, you'll know them. Head muffled in cloth, arms outstretched, a barely perceptible ring around me.

MONSTER.

I drank. I drank, I took drugs, I wandered. So sure that I had found my purpose, my moment and all it had brought was hate and condemnation from the entire world.

But I'm sober now, straight. I'm back in New York, back outside the same restaurant. No need to cover my face. I've found my truth in God.

And purpose.

Allahu Akbar.








Quick Note.
My apologies reader. I flinched. The original version of this has our character saving the Twin Towers from planes and a smaller bodycount. Which I think makes it a stronger piece of writing to be honest. But then there's always the worry, even though not many will probably read this little exercise, is it too crass?

I mean, the implied ending is already crass but it's a necessary shorthand for the way alienation can drive people into extreme behaviour. Or that is what we subconsciously believe anyway. As far as you, the reader know, our chap has returned to New York as a missionary. But in the West, that's not what those two words mean to us (and it was not my original intention as I'm as guilty as anyone). But anyway, Yes. I flinched and I thought I should be truthful about it.

Monday 10 December 2012

Ten Minute Thingy #2

Same idea s the last one though this took slightly longer to write out. Not sure it's much better for it. Nevertheless here is a, loosely, Christmas themed fifteen minute thingy.



Miracle on Oxford St.


Karim Lee sat on a bench eating sandwiches (cheese and pickle) as neon hoardings strobed out everything he (and the wife and child he did not have) may possibly want for Christmas. When God appeared Karim was staring idly at the row of 40” 3d TV's in the shop window opposite him.

Thud. Went something in the ornamental bush behind Karim.

God didn't look like Karim expected him to look from his knowledge of the Bible (scant). God looked nondescript, boring even. Cheap suit (tan), ratty, uncombed hair (dirty blonde) and eyes like the skies of Karim's childhood holidays. God smoked roll ups, cupping thick fingers around the thin ember to protect it from the blades of icy wind, sucking on them like they were a life support system and the harsh tobacco protected his lungs from the city air.

'You Karim Lee?' God said. Karim didn't know he was speaking to God. (God knew all about Karim Lee because he was God.) 'You work at Enkidutech?'

'I'm Karim,' said Karim, 'but if you're a headhunter I'm not really interested in moving, I like what I'm doing.'

Thud! went a pigeon as it landed on the pavement in front of him and burst like a sausage left in a fridge dumped on a railway embankment by a man who couldn't be bothered making a trip to the tip.

'Headhunter?' said God, he stared up into a sky dirty with cab fumes and filthy language. 'I suppose so. I've come to tell you, Karim,' God tapped him on the chest, 'that you are the chosen one.'

'Sorry?' said Karim who privately wished God would go away and let him eat his sandwiches (ham and onion).

'I should Explain,' said God, 'I'm God.'

'Fuck off,' said Karim, who did not believe in God.

'Think of a number, Karim,' said God and he bent over, stubbing out his rolly on the pavement causing a crazy spiral of cracks that drew a portrait of Margaret Thatcher. 'Twenty-one, thirty-seven, five, twenty-three, pi,' said God with a smile.

'Clever,' said Karim, 'I've seen magicians do that on TV.'

'God stared at him, laughed.

Thud! Thud! Went two sparrows hitting the pavement head first and staying upright like two comical garden ornaments owned by an old lady who hated them but kept them because they amused the grandchildren.

'What an age of miracles we live in, eh, Karim?' said God. Karim laughed, nodded, took a bite of his sandwich (liver and mustard.) 'When you were fourteen you walked past an alley near your house and saw a couple having sex against the wall. You walked past that alley every day at the same time for a year and a half hoping to see them again. You never did.' God gave him a wink, 'that enough for you, Karim?'

Karim, his sandwich (salt and vinegar crisps) held halfway to his mouth, did not know what to say to that.

'I'm sorry, Karim,' said God, 'but you're chosen and you're going to die for our sins,' the television wall showed a crazy montage of wars, disasters and famines. For a moment Karim felt like he was in an eighties rock video. 'Just like they died for our sins' said God. 'Cool huh?'

'Doesn't really sound cool,' said Karim, his sandwich (rhubarb and dolphin) forgotten. 'And if this happens, which I personally doubt, is it going to hurt?'

'Fraid so,' said God, 'part of the deal you see. It's for the greater good though, don't worry about that.'

'And just how will the world know I'm chosen.' said Karim who had always felt it was best to mollify crackpots and really just wanted to finish his sandwiches (cream cheese and chive) in peace.

God leant back against the bench.

Thud!Thud!Thud! Went three more pigeons and a woman walking past told her friend she had blood on her shoes and did she know how much these fucking cost? And she'd been complaining about the fucking vermin for months and she was probably going to sue the fucking Mayor about this.

'A designer virus escaped from a government lab about fifty feet below us. It got out about an hour ago. Half an hour from now everything biological in a strip three miles wide and twelve miles long in the direction of the prevailing wind, which is away from the financial sector, thankfully,' God tapped his nose and gave Karim a wink. 'They will be dead. Everything apart from you, Karim. Your only side effects will be a series of vivid hallucinations.'

'Sorry?' said Karim. 'That sounds like the plot of video game.'

'Doesn't it just,' said God, and then he coughed into a handkerchief. He stared into it with evening grey eyes, carefully folded it and put into his jacket pocket. 'Your mother's from Iran, isn't she, Karim?' said God.

'Yes,' said Karim and he became very still, like an animal caught in the lights of a truck unable to move because its little brain was unable to catch up with the relentless forward march of the world around it.

'Good,' said God, 'that's absolutely perfect,' he said and he started to cry. Two tears of blood made their slow way down his nondescript face.

Thud! Went God's head as he toppled forward onto the pavement.

Wednesday 5 December 2012

Ten Minute Thingy

This is a quick thing. I am feeling a bit 'not like doing the current WIP' so distracted myself with this. Allowed myself ten minutes.





The Pledge.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


...I want to thank you for electing myself and this government. I won't lie to you, there are hard decisions to be made. But remember, we are all in this together.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Look, John, I'm sorry but with the economy how it is we're having to make cutbacks and you're one of them. I know, you've always been an exemplary employee. Talk to the MD? I'm afraid he's away at the moment, on holiday. Look, don't worry, we'll give you great references. Give my love to Susie, won't you. I really am sorry.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Look, don't cry. It will be fine I'm sure. Fifty isn't over the hill by any means, I'll find something else. Don't worry. It will be fine.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Yes, yes I know the mortgage payment has been late twice, no, no I'll definitely be able to make the next one. Yes, yes, I'll try and catch up but I was wondering about the penalty charge? Maybe you could? Oh, it's automatic? I see. No, I'm sorry.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.

We've got savings, a couple of bottles of wine won't hurt.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Well go to your fucking mother's then.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Two bottles of extra strong cider please.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


No, no bastards, they can't. Look officer, this is my house. No, I won't calm down. This is My. Fucking. House. Stop that, stop it. I'm not a criminal. Why are you cuffing me?

 
I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


No, I don't have any change. Come away from him Jack, he's fitlhy.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


I'm sure you used to live here, but if I find you in this area again I'll arrest you.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


This is our turf, you dirty old fucker, you can't fucking sleep on our benches, stinking it up. Come back to this park and I'll fucking shoot you in the knee, alright?


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


I know where they hide their gun.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.

 
You are all in this together.